James Duncan’s Web Page

The time is now! To love the Hoff!
Regardless of if you’re a townie or goth!
You’ve got to support this cool 80s guy
So you’ll sign up to iTunes and get ready to buy
Oh yeah! *guitar solo*

*singer puts on leather hotpants*

See the way these stretch over my cock?
I’ve looked at the Hoff, I’m hard as a rock!
You’ve looked, you’ve laughed, he’s given you fun
Now the time has come for his No1!

He’s a little bit cheesy, like Top Gun or Wham!
He could beat up Chuck Norris, the ultimate man!
You can buy him on iTunes, but wait for the mail
Or even the Hoff will eventually faaaaail!

So let’s stand together, lighters in air
Look into our hearts, and solemnly swear
We’ll do the right thing, not give in to sloth
We’ll follow this link, and give love to the Hoff!

(link goes to http://www.gethasselhofftonumber1.com/)

Both of these screengrabs made me laugh mightily…I have no idea what the ebay bidder was doing with that bid, but I do note they are also dumb/chav like enough to shop at Argos.  The automated ad is just hilarious. Thumbnails below, click for full size.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is a recent exchange of mails between CentOS, a RedHat derived GNU/Linux distro, and this man. I am afraid for humanity.
—

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 00:52:58 +0000 (Wed, 18:52 CST)
Jerry A. Taylor submitted the following Information:
Email xxxxxxx
Company City of Tuttle
Location Oklahoma
CommentsWho gave you permission to invade my website and block me and anyone else from accessing it???
Please remove your software immediately before I report it to government officials!!
I am the City Manager of Tuttle, Oklahoma.

Read the rest of this entry »

Faceparty. Truly, it makes you rethink your instinctive distaste for eugenics. In an attempt to warn the internet about the horrors within, I have attempted to make a taxonomy of user types, roaming from the merely slightly misconceived to the utterly terrifying. All pics are from genuine FP user accounts.

The Teen

The Teen is the most inoffensive of all of the faceparty archetypes. Though she claims to be 16, she is in fact about 14. As such, while she may indulge in excessive makeup and flirting online, she is unlikely to get in a situation where STDs can be an issue with anyone but a real-life classmate. As with all underage girls on the net, she may well be a police officer.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Wisdom of Parasites. The Loom: A blog about life, past and future:

Kept for posterety since the server has gone down:

I collect tales of parasites the way some people collect Star Trek plates. And having filled an entire book with them, I thought I had pretty much collected the whole set. But until now I had somehow missed the gruesome glory that is a wasp named Ampulex compressa.

Read the rest of this entry »

Some most amusing legal documents have emerged in the ongoing lawsuit between Google and Microsoft over Google’s hiring of Kai-Fu Lee. Possibly the most illuminating thing is the “Declaration of Mark Lucovsky” in the case. Lucovsky was a distinguished engineer at Microsoft who defected to Google in November of 2004. His statement makes for some pretty surprising reading, to say the least.

The statement reads in part:

Prior to joining Google, I set up a meeting on or about November 11, 2004 with Microsoft’s CEO Steve Ballmer to discuss my planned departure….At some point in the conversation Mr. Ballmer said: “Just tell me it’s not Google.” I told him it was Google.

At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office. Mr. Ballmer then said: “Fucking Eric Schmidt is a fucking pussy. I’m going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to fucking kill Google.” ….

Thereafter, Mr. Ballmer resumed trying to persuade me to stay….Among other things, Mr. Ballmer told me that “Google’s not a real company. It’s a house of cards.”

Steve Balmer. What a CEO. What a man.